Is There a Thing As Fate? Does Everyone Have Someone?

Published: 07th January 2010
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Copyright (c) 2010 Vin DiCarlo

"I just wanted to ask a very simple but important question?

Do you think has everyone has someone in fate?

In addition to this to think about, do you think that everyone has a kind of "fate" or that a man can be hopeless despite of what he desires?

Thank you," - Arash M. of Okemos, MI

These are really heavy questions, which happen to be my favorite kind.

I don't spent much focus on these types of topics because I don't think they are useful to think about IN your interactions.

I'm all about having a useful and powerful focus. So doing a lot of navel gazing is just not my style.

However, I believe these questions need to be addressed, because after years of frustration and disappointment, you start to ask yourself,

"Is it worth the effort and heartbreak?"

"Is there someone for me out there?"

"Do I really have control over my dating life, or is all up to chance? Are some guys just born to be lucky, and I am born to struggle?"

I want to begin by pointing out something very obvious, that you may not have thought about in terms of dating.

When you wake up in the morning, you can dress yourself and drive yourself to work.

When you want a sandwich, you can make it without getting mayonnaise all over yourself.

When your faucet is leaking, you can buy a new one and install it with basic instructions.

My point is that all the little things you do on a daily basis are under your control.

However, you can't control whether or not there will be a traffic jam.

You can't control how fast the food in your refrigerator spoils.

You can't control the quality of metal and construction of the faucet in your sink.

But each of these things, you can use your experience and your common sense to estimate how each of this happen, and you can prepare in case things don't go right.

Although you can't control the forces that drive the universe, you can work within them, and do well enough that you can survive, and THRIVE by using what you were born with - your mind and body.

One thing I compare pickup to a lot is sports. If you've ever played a team sport, you know that every game is different, because you are dealing with many different individuals on the field.

Yet with practice and insight, you can improve your skill so that you can have an OVERALL success rate.

You won't win or be successful with every match you play, but you can get the odds in your favor, and be generally successful if you make the effort.

It's the same when meeting women!

And that, to me, answers the question of fate or destiny. We don't know what will happen tomorrow.

When bad things happen, it's always unexpected. People don't TRY to get in accidents or fail in their endeavors.

But in general, bad stuff, accidents, and failure, can be minimized in general, if you use your brain and make the effort to cover your bases.

As for the question of whether there is someone for everyone...

No one is perfect. The odds of you meeting someone you are perfectly compatible with are pretty much zero.

Even if you meet your soul mate, there's NO WAY you can be with that person your whole life without getting in arguments, and having some problems along the way.

Again, you want to optimize your life. You can't perfect it, but you can OPTIMIZE it.

So to meet a woman that you get along with VERY well, who will love you and treat you as you want to be treated, you must date a lot of women.

The odds that any one girl is going to be close to your ideal have a small probability.

You improve those odds by raising the number of women you meet.

When you improve your skill with women, you will be able to

a) meet a lot of women easily, without having to prepare or fight through a lot of fear b) make choices based in ABUNDANCE. You can be PICKY.

Most people end up in relationships because they are afraid they can't do any better.

And remember - we all have our crosses to bear. If you have had frustrations in the past, that's life. Another guy who has been with a lot of women has his OWN crosses to bear, his own fears and struggles, just in different aspects of life.


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